I am so sorry you got your face ripped off by an alien lake monster. A slow, painful death like that is no end for such a smoking hot babe like you. You were so helpless in your final scene when the blob was underneath the raft; you tip-toed from plank to plank as the monster poked through the cracks with its slimy, deadly ooze. You have really cute feet...were those your feet or an extras? Anyways, I wanted to jump through the screen and into the lake to divert the blob's attention so you could swim to safety. "Come and get me, blob!!! Come and get me, you bastard blob son of a bitch!!!" I would have yelled, "She's too damn hot to die!!!!!"
I knew there was no way in hell that Pancho guy was going to save you; he was trying to cop a feel while you were taking a nap!! That's how the blob got the drop on you guys. Shame on you, Pancho, you short, curly haired pervert.
I also wanted to jump through the screen and go toe to toe with that jerk you were dating. What's up with that guy? He's a good looking guy, tall with a total swimmer's bod, but c'mon, he threatened to hit you because you got scared! You just witness your friend get devoured by some alien lake monster and you've got some meathead asshole threatening to punch your lights out. With a raised fist he yells "Stop it, Laverne, I swear to god I'm gonna smoke you! I mean it!" I'm sorry you're last day on earth was filled with such hostility.
Laverne, I hope you're reading this tucked away in a cloud under god's wing...specifically designated for hot babes that died senseless, terrible deaths. I hope the memory of having your face ripped off by a weird looking, blob type thing is long gone and you have accepted your absence from this world and the sadness you left behind. Laverne, I hope I can do those things one day too. Some day I will forgive the blob. But not today.
Yours Always,
GG
