I am so sorry you got your face ripped off by an alien lake monster. A slow, painful death like that is no end for such a smoking hot babe like you. You were so helpless in your final scene when the blob was underneath the raft; you tip-toed from plank to plank as the monster poked through the cracks with its slimy, deadly ooze. You have really cute feet...were those your feet or an extras? Anyways, I wanted to jump through the screen and into the lake to divert the blob's attention so you could swim to safety. "Come and get me, blob!!! Come and get me, you bastard blob son of a bitch!!!" I would have yelled, "She's too damn hot to die!!!!!"
I knew there was no way in hell that Pancho guy was going to save you; he was trying to cop a feel while you were taking a nap!! That's how the blob got the drop on you guys. Shame on you, Pancho, you short, curly haired pervert.
I also wanted to jump through the screen and go toe to toe with that jerk you were dating. What's up with that guy? He's a good looking guy, tall with a total swimmer's bod, but c'mon, he threatened to hit you because you got scared! You just witness your friend get devoured by some alien lake monster and you've got some meathead asshole threatening to punch your lights out. With a raised fist he yells "Stop it, Laverne, I swear to god I'm gonna smoke you! I mean it!" I'm sorry you're last day on earth was filled with such hostility.
Laverne, I hope you're reading this tucked away in a cloud under god's wing...specifically designated for hot babes that died senseless, terrible deaths. I hope the memory of having your face ripped off by a weird looking, blob type thing is long gone and you have accepted your absence from this world and the sadness you left behind. Laverne, I hope I can do those things one day too. Some day I will forgive the blob. But not today.
Yours Always,
GG
Oh Gory Gary, I love your writing. It's exactly the kind of thing that makes me laugh. Great write, pal!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wes, to show my gratitude to such an awesome fan you will be getting your very own basement of terror tshirt! This shirt will get you paid and laid, all that you have to do is email basementofterror@gmail.com with your name and address and ill send this chic magnet as soon as I can. Thanks again, I look forward to hearing from you.
ReplyDeleteIn the late 80’s when I was still in high school I was beginning to start collecting films and would occasionally lend videos out to school friends, and the two films that caused the biggest stir were Ninja Terminator and Creepshow 2, with Creepshow 2 it was of course down to the scene where Randy takes the opportunity to gawp and fondle the breasts of Laverne while she is asleep. The first person I lent the film to didn’t pick up on this scene (a couple of years later he came out of the closet, so thats obviously why), but the next person i lent it to was soon raving about the scene where “he pulls up the girl’s shirt”. As you might imagine he kept onto the tape for quite a while, then passed it on to someone else, who then passed it on to someone else, it seems they were all watching the film just to say they’d seen that scene. Laverne mania reached its peak when during a class in which the teacher was using a TV/video combination to show a film about fire hazards, the teacher was suddenly called away and the current owner of the tape put it in the machine to further show off Jeremy Green’s talents. I swear by the end of this saga just about every teenage boy in the school must have seen the film, ogled her tits and become members of what became known as “the Jeremy Green appreciation society” …. and no I never did get my bloody tape back.
ReplyDeleteHahaha great post, man! It's definitely a film that always stuck with me throughout the years and most of it had to do with the chemistry of the characters. I am sure when I first saw it I was excited to see the boob of such a good looking young woman but the last time i watched it I realized that I had totally forgotten about it.
ReplyDeleteThe sexuality of it is sandwiched by the creepiness of Pancho and her blood curdling scream when she realizes she's getting attacked by the alien lake monster...and GETTING KINDA RAPED!! Terrifying experience. I hope the guys in your school didn't take too many pointers from Pancho hahahah. Thanks for the post, dude, I think you have reinvigorated my passion for blogging horror.
I seem to remember the storyline in the film differs from the original story published in Skelton Crew. In the original story Laverne and Randy are boyfriend/girlfriend and she dies as a result of them getting turned on and having consensual sex on the raft, whereas in the film theres a tragic element to it in that he lusts after her from afar and when he does make a move on her she gets killed as a result. I remember we always used to speculate about how far Randy would have gone if she hadn’t woken up…. Jeremy Green did have one spectacularly hot bod.
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