Monday, September 15, 2014

Devil's Due

Devil's Due Movie Review

Newlyweds take off on a honeymoon to Europe, get a little wasted and wind up pregnant with Satan spawn.  At least I think that’s what happened in “Devil’s Due” directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett.

This Satanic, possession tale is familiar territory for Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett who co-directed the “V/H/S” finale “10/31/98,” arguably the best segment of the first V/H/S anthology.  Samantha McCall, played by adorable actress Allison Miller, and Zach McCall, played Zach Gilford, return from their honeymoon and soon find out that Samantha is pregnant—a shock to both considering she religiously takes birth control.  They share the news with friends and family and everyone is happy and excited except Samantha who slowly realizes something isn’t quite right with her pregnancy.  Long story short, she starts eating raw meat at the supermarket and killing wild animals with her barehands.  I know pregnant women get weird cravings but this lady goes overboard!
Much of the film is shot by her husband who bought a video camera and documents the entire ordeal which starts with joy and slowly degrades to satanic mayhem.  Don’t throw this one away as yet another found footage film because this movie also utilizes other peoples cameras and surveillance video to help push the story along much like the movie “Chronicle.”  The story is told by using all cameras within the world of the couple, not just the handheld camera used by the husband.  I don’t mind this device, frankly I don’t really think it’s that noticeable unless you’re writing a movie review or picking it apart because you think you’re a film conossieur because you know how to illegally download movies on the internet (we will get to that later.)  What I really didn’t like is how we were the only one actually watching this footage; the husband never once took a look at what he was shooting.  There was tons of weird stuff going on that he would've seen if he just uploaded his footage and tried to edit it—if youre not going to edit or even watch your footage what the hell is the point of filming at all?

I'll tell you why, because we have to suspend our disbelief and it’s scary, plain and simple.  I think society has gotten use to the herky jerky camera style made famous by the “Blair Witch Project” and no one is getting motion sickness anymore but everyone seems to pan these movies immediately when they are released.  As a film watcher we become accustomed to certain things like someone looking in a mirror on a medicine cabinet, opening the medicine cabinet, grabbing something and then closing it, revealing a killer or something spooky in the reflection behind them.  We have all seen it a million times and we begin to anticipate these kinds of things when we see them developing in a film.  The documentary style coupled with a demonic possession tale means that, at any time, some wild stuff could happen and you could be scared out of your wits.  I found this happening to me many times—“oh boy, when he walks in the room with that camera she’s going to be eating the dog or something!”  These parts were excellent and kept even Gory Gary on the edge of his seat (or bed, I watched it in bed.)

Let’s move onto the acting: as I did research I read through a lot of other reviews and message boards and found that a lot of people think they are experts on acting.  How?  What exactly does a person who does not act, and has no experience with acting or filmmaking know about a very, very difficult skill?  “Oh, the acting was terrible….the acting sucked…blah blah blah.”  You know nothing about acting and you’re just trying to fill your dumb review with more words and that’s the obvious thing for you to talk about because expounding on anything else or even having an educated thought would make your head explode!  Everyone is entitled to their opinion but take it from me, if there is a big budget film being made, the directors and actors are top-notch talent and they will get it right, just like they did in this film.  The husband and wife do an excellent job and practically carry the entire movie dealing with some pretty difficult subject matter.  It’s not like they’re in a comedy where they are just some funny girl or dude in a relationship that just doesn’t seem to work out….awww SHUCKS!!  They are newlyweds having to act like they are in love, having to act like they are having their first child and dealing with the god damn ANTICHRIST!  Please, Stinky Kubrick, sitting at your computer in your underwear, looking through torrent downloads while you recuperate from your last masturbation session—tell me how they should have acted.  I have a post coming up in a few weeks about acting and why it is such a difficult thing to judge, so stay tuned for more vitriol aimed at these armchair actors and film directors.


“Devil’s Due” is Rated R, has a run time of 89 minutes and gets a 2.5 stars on the gore score.  This film didn't take us anywhere we haven’t already been but did its best to be inventive and definitely delivered some scary moments.  It did leave us wondering, however, about the title....what exactly is the Devil Due?  Is it a play on words?  Like "due" date?  I dunno, definitely give this one a watch, fright fiends, and be weary of other reviewers; the only thing many of them got correct is they liked this movie better the first time when it was called "Rosemary's Baby."



Monday, September 8, 2014

Too Much Nudity In Horror?

We like hot girls at the Basement of Terror. Hell, it's a deciding factor in many of my movie reviews but having naked girls and sex in a horror film has become cliché.  Actually, it’s been cliché for years now, even decades, but has hid under the guise of being a throwback horror device that we all grew up on and expected.  Since nudity is so readily available on the internet and elsewhere why do we still have so much of it in horror films?  I mean, did we really need to see Danielle Harris naked in the Rob Zombie Halloween remake?


A young Danielle Harris in "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers"
Who’s Danielle Harris?  She is the little girl from Halloween 4 and 5 who has now grown up to be a pretty hot babe but what was the point in us seeing her naked?  To fulfill some weird, pedophilic urge for Rob “I write better than I direct and I don’t even do that well” Zombie and other creepy weirdos out there? Or is it because John Carpenter’s “Halloween” had some boobs in it so why wouldn’t the remake?  Well, there’s a huge difference between the original Halloween and the remake--John Carpenter’s was made in 1978, a time when I couldn't pull a device out of my pocket and see all the tits I want.

Danielle Harris nude in Rob Zombie's Halloween
Back in the 70s and 80s slasher movies were the only place you could see some boobs other than you friend’s house looking at his dad’s Playboys.  Now, finding a naked girl is as easy as finding a terrible horror movie to watch on Netflix.  Just pull out your phone or open your laptop and type “boobs” in the search bar and VOILA you’ll get to see boobs from every country on the planet.  Neat, eh?  Horror movies were a place a person could go to see and feel emotions they didn't normally feel: being scared and being turned on.  Now we are just there to be scared (and 80% of films can't do that right) because, let's face it, we can easily find a girl on the internet hotter than the poor actress trying to get her SAG card in your movie. 

I do understand that in certain instances nudity is necessary to propel the narrative.  For example, “Hostel” used nudity as a way to show young men how easy it would be to get sucked into a torture ring.  I don’t know many dudes that would abstain from doing whatever those hot babes wanted you to after you've been partying and screwing all day and night.  Sign me up!  Some foreign dude would've paid a lot of money to torture my loud, dumb American ass.  How about the scene in the Friday the 13th remake where he stabs the girl through the top of the head that’s hiding under the deck?  He then pulls her up out of the water exposing her obviously fake breasts one more time before ripping the machete from her head and letting her body sink (somehow with those balloons on her chest) to the murky floor below.  There was no point to that other than to show her boobs one more time and that’s just pathetic; Basically saying “you’re a dumb dude and you wanna see boobs again, right?”  WRONG!  I would rather see a gory kill than a naked girl!  Hey, that kinda rhymes…I WOULD RATHER SEE A GORY KILL THAN A NAKED GIRL.  Chant with me, “I WOULD RATHER SEE A GORY KILL THAN A NAKED GIRL!”  Okay I’m getting away with myself but c'mon!  Stop wasting valuable minutes of terrifying madness. 


Two smoking babes from the first Hostel
Horror films can still have hot babes that don’t get naked and still be successful and utterly terrifying.  How about “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning?”  That movie had Jordana Brewster and Diora Baird, two of the hottest girls to ever be in a horror movie. Guess what?  They didn't get naked and they didn't have to.  That movie was 91 minutes of pure, unadulterated horror and anyone that thinks otherwise is better off sticking to the plot development of a second rate porno anyways.

Jordana Brewster and Diora Baird looking insanely hot in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning"
So why is there so much nudity in horror films?  Basically it’s because writers and filmmakers of horror films think we are so dumb that we need it to stay entertained.  It isn’t like these movies make more money or are more successful because they have nudity in them and these scenes really aren’t and can’t be that inventive and 90% of the time do nothing to develop the plot! *takes deep breath* wow, I'm ranting hard! Most horror films are 90 minutes long so lets pack them with as much terror, mayhem and story as possible. I can't believe I'm arguing against seeing a girl naked but oversexualizing the content dumbs down our intellect as a viewer.  When someone is easily able to find naked babes all over the internet and beyond, your horror movie sex scene is more likely to illicit yawns than boners.       

Thursday, September 4, 2014

REC 3: Genesis

REC 3: Genesis Movie Review

All hell breaks loose at a wedding reception and it’s not because your Uncle Eddie is wasted and dancing the Macarena.  No, it’s because he’s a zombie!  Or demon…or whatever he is in this installment of the REC quadrilogy “REC 3: Genesis.”


This is the first film in the series that Spanish director Paco Plaza made without the help of Jaume Balaguero, the co-director of the first two REC films.  The result is a fresh new perspective that stays true to the original plot; this film takes place during the day, uses a fiction style camera and has a nice touch of humor throughout that doesn’t take away from the terror.  This movie is not a zomcom (zombie-comedy) but let’s face it, certain things are going to happen in the course of a horrific event that might seem funny to those watching from the comfort of their own home and this movie capitalizes on many of them perfectly. This doesn’t mean that all the great draws of the first two films are absent however, there is a wedding videographer roaming around and we frequently cut to his view and eventually it does get dark which helps intensify the atmosphere.  What definitely hasn’t changed is the ravenous and ever growing horde of zombies….or infected….or demons….or whatever the hell you want to call them.

 
To sum them all up I am going to call them ZOMBIEMONS…a combination of zombies and demons.  Did Gory Gary just coin a new horror term?  I think he did!   It’s like it started with a cult that infected people but once they kill, the dead reanimate like zombies…zombies that heed to religious commands.  It is some seriously weird stuff, man!  These things, or ZOMBIEMONS if you will, are terrifying, fast and hungry—all bad when you’re trying to run for your life.  The gore is excellent and uses all practical effects, which we love here at the BOT.


As a filmmaker myself and someone who has shot many, many wedding videos (currently editing two) this couple was totally believable as loving, caring sweethearts.  The bride Clara, played by Leticia Dolera, and the groom Koldo, played by Diego Martin do a terrific job of straddling the line between horror and happiness.  In foreign films acting is a difficult thing to judge but I think these two definitely pulled it off well but what I took issue with was how easily they were able to kill their family members and friends who had turned into zombiemons.  I get it, they are fighting for their lives, but it’s going to be hard for me to kill my uncle Eddie because I love the guy and he got me drunk my first time and paid for my first tattoo!  Case and point it’s not going to be that easy to kill many people at your wedding unless it’s your sister’s douche bag fiancé.


“Rec 3:Genesis” is rated R has a run time of 80 horrifying minutes and gets a 4 out of 5 stars on the gore score.  This one has everything we loved from the first two with a few extra buckets of blood to keep you interested.  We have enjoyed each film so far in this series and are really looking forward to its conclusion in Rec 4: Apocalypse.

       

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Don't Go In The Woods

Don't Go In The Woods - Movie Review

The lead singer of an indy band forces his bandmates into the woods on a camping trip.  They get rid of the weed, the booze and the cellphones and focus all their efforts into writing some new, kickass tunes. KUMBAYA!!!


I want to start this review by saying I was really looking forward to this movie.  The premise, marketing and trailer were right up our alley here at The Basement of Terror but the execution was right down the sh#tt@r!! This film is directed by Vincent D'Onofrio which most people remember as the enigmatic Private Pyle from "Full Metal Jacket."  I thought to myself "Ok, we got Vinnie D, he has got some cash and the film is shot on some land he owns in New York somewhere.  On top of that he knows how to act and has a ton of experience in the industry so how the hell could he screw up a slasher film?!"  Well, folks, he did....he did bad.

Right off the bat I had trouble believing the actors.  Now I don't want to get down on these guys; they are certainly better actors than I will ever be and it is a very difficult thing to judge.  I wish them the best in their careers, hopefully doing whatever besides acting.  It just wasn't there, dudes, and if you want to blame that on the director than go ahead.  I immediately hated the lead singer Nick, played by Matt Sbeglia.  I think it's Matt Sbeglia but I am unable to find any pictures on IMDB because this is his only film credit to date -- Thank you for that, Matt Sbeglia.  They are about five minutes into the movie and he throws their weed out the window saying "We are here to focus on the music."  How cliche!  And the way the rest of the band acted when it happened was just ridiculous. They didn't say anything except "Did he just do what I think he did?" sounding like a dude that just woke up from a nap!  He just threw a big bag of weed out the window and you are going on a camping trip!  Now we are not potheads at the Basement of Terror but we know you never mess with a man's bag of weed.  At its most basic level it's just like he threw $100 out the window--and probably more judging by the size of that bag, and these dudes do nothing more than whimper!  Guess what this jerk does later?  He pours out all their booze! What a dick!  Is this the main character I'm supposed to care about?  Who am I supposed to care about?  The Asian guy?  The blind guy? Yes, this band has an annoying lead singer, an Asian guy, a blind bass player and I think the remaining member is Mexican or something...they are very cultured and super annoying.


The pacing was the scariest part of this entire movie.  It starts out with just the band but then to the behest of the annoying lead singer all their girlfriends and groupies show up.  I didn't mind this because I knew this was a slasher and now there are plenty of victims to go around, THIS COULD BE FUN!  Nope, we basically watch an episode of Glee chock-packed with one awful song after another.  Maybe I misunderstood the marketing but I in no way expected this to be a musical.  And it's not just songs from the band members, it has songs sang by every damn person in the entire movie including a French girl who is just learning to speak English!  "Je t'aime je t'aime je t'aime....I love you..I love you..I love you" UGH that just gave me the chills remembering it.  Apparently this entire film was written to showcase the music of Vinnie D's friend, Sam Bisbee, who is also the co-writer.  Let's just say you all need to find new day jobs.  "Hey, I've got this awesome jam that has some French words in it... let's like, have there be a French girl in the script!" DUMB!!!  I've got some French for ya...Au revoir any movie or music containing Sam Bisbee. 


"Don't Go In The Woods" is Not Rated, has a run time of 83 minutes (which feels like a year and a half) and gets a half star on the gore score, our lowest score to date.  Only because we respect filmmaking and realize how difficult it is can we give this movie a half star.  I suggest going in the woods if it helps you escape this big private PYLE of garbage.